A Tale of 5 Events on My TV

Anna Farris is hilarious. She had me rolling in Just Friends (she actually stole the show), and while I'm not a Scary Movie person, I must say that everything I've seen her in has been entertaining (the Hot Chick and Lost in Translation, for example).

Ok, so I'm crushing, but alas...

The House Bunny is stupid fun in the best Happy Madison tradition, and that's exactly what you get. Why discuss the punch lines. I'll just tell you to watch it because it will make you laugh.

As for the Mamma Mia Review (the things we watch for fiances):

If ever there was a more moronic bunch of spaz ass losers assembled together with no specific purpose, it would be hard for me to imagine (save maybe a party that Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid were throwing for Barack Obama), but we seem to have quite the collection here. Colin Firth, normally workable in roles like the one in Love Actually, is reduced to spaz ass. The prof from Good Will Hunting is a spaz ass. Pierce Brosnan, never one to be worth watching, is a spaz ass. Meryl Streep is a horrible singer, but let's be honest... the whole musical aspect of this film sucked. Abba had one tolerable song and even that nearly vanished in this 2 hour suck fest.

In addition, Meryl Streep's friends were truly useless as people. One could only hope that they got fed to the sharks that were swarming off the island, which I must at least say looked like a fun place to visit if you got rid of EVERY SINGLE ONE of the people who were living or filming there.

The main girl who was getting married didn't know that she was marrying someone from the other team, but when she realized it, the marriage was off. She could have sped up her future by a day or so if she realized that a bachelor party of guys doing Rockette's kicks on the pier was a sign that they weren't your average "dudes."

But let's be honest - being a dude isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Let's take Zack and Miri Make a Porno. There haven't been too many movies lately that I haven't at least stuck around until the end for, but this crapfest sure did win the prize.

Remember how in 40-Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up how the characters were lovable and learned something. Remember how the R-rated jokes seemed to go somewhere? All of that is abandoned here for a lot of profanity and boobs for no reason whatsoever. Remember how usually Seth Rogen is fun to watch because he's a lovable loser who turns out good? Well that vanishes here because he's stuck beside Jason Mewes and all of Kevin Smith and Judd Apatow's recurring actors that no longer need to be funny because they're guaranteed jobs due to the fact that there are only certain people that are allowed in their movies. Remember how Kevin Smith used to be funny? A whole generation is now growing up and not remembering how Clerks and Mallrats were fresh and how the first half of Chasing Amy (until Ben Affleck and ol' girl hooked up) was something that meant something to those of us who watched it and thought we had found 20-something entertaining faire that actually spoke to our lost little lives. Now, he's just trying to resuscitate his career (that is basically about knocking movies out to pay the bills rather than say something new and unique - Catch and Release was the dying swan song of everything shitty he had done up until then) and pay bills. Just like in the case of M. Night, this is killing his once good stuff and leaving us with a newer generation of pungent and septic refuse.

I should say that I stuck it out until the end of Mamma Mia (one of the foulest bunches of stench I have ever watched), but I literally had to shut off Zach and Miri. Maybe I'm getting older. Maybe, I'm just developing taste. Either way, the movie sucked. Watching it again or being waterboarded is not an easy choice, my friends.

Funny all the time movies either work or they don't. Sometimes, they work the first time, but not the next time. I don't know how American Carol would hold up the 2nd time, but I was rolling on the floor in hysterics at this I hate Michael Moore attack fest (complete with lots of slaps and running insults towards, amongst other things, the zombie ACLU lawyers).

Now, I was never a fan of Chris Farley, but his brother seems to resurrect him for this movie. That's a good thing. The jokes are truly conservative by numbers and there is a Bill O' Reilly appearance complete with slap to "Michael Malone" (Bill O' makes the movie), so if those don't promises of entertainment don't make you swoon, I'd stick with whatever else it is that you like, but if they're up your alley, this movie is classic.

There's even an appearance by Gary Coleman. How can you go wrong with that?

Just finished watching episode 11 of season 7 of 24. This season is kicking mucho ass. It's as good as season 3+5 and may prove up there with seasons 2+4 when it's all over.

The evil African leader has been caught, the FBI moles have been caught or killed, and now, Tony has come back to tell Jack that there is a major hit coming within 1 hour. The previews have a major attack coming down on the White House. Jack is in a not so good place, and it doesn't look good for the switch from first half to last half. At least we'll have 2 hours to watch "The Man" save the day from evil. Since there have been no vampire attacks, hacksaws, axes, or anything malicious (other than threatening families), we're due for something big.

SO YEAH... what's the lesson of this post?
Stay away from ALL musicals and give up on Kevin Smith completely, but if you stick with Jack Bauer, the uber hot + hilarious Anna Farris, or George Lucas in Love, then life is good.